


Forgotten

by robronsugsy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-20 15:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3654777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robronsugsy/pseuds/robronsugsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is left with amnesia after his horrific accident, forgetting everything that happened since returning to Emmerdale. While Aaron struggles to cope with the loss of his memory, Robert struggles to cope with the loss of Aaron in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea from some theories about Aaron's condition after his fall.. I'll continue soon :)

Nothing. That's what Aaron remembers. Nothing from the last 7/8 months. Well, not quite. He remembers being in prison. He remembers certain faces that he had seen since returning, but mostly, it was nothing. Aaron sat with a confused look on his face in the back of the pub, trying to piece together any sort of memory he could.

 

"Here's your phone love"

Aaron's daze was broken as he was handed a brand new phone by his mum.

"It's the newer version of you're old one, we tried to get the stuff from the other but it was corrupt, must of been from the snow."

Chas had looked at Aaron with a concerned face. The same face she had for weeks. Aaron had been out for only two weeks after having a month long stay at the hospital, but Chas refused to do anything other than wrap him in cotton wool. Paddy tried to convince her it wasn't going to be healthy but when does Chas ever do as she's told? She nearly lost her son, and no one was ever going to take him away from her again.

_***_

_"Mrs Dingle?"_

_"Yes?!"_

_"I'm afraid to tell you... you're son has suffered a quite serious case of amnesia. From what we can gather from Mr. Livesy himself and the tests he doesn't remember anything for quite some time. He mentioned that he last remembers being in France and getting a call from someone called Adam? Do you know how long ago that could of been?"_

_"Um... around 7/8 months ago I think, oh god... will he get his memory back?!"_

_"It's alright Mrs. Dingle. I cannot guarantee anything to you concerning Mr. Livesy regaining his memories, all I can tell you is that it's going to be a very long road for your son, and he's going to need a lot of familiar faces around him to support him through this very confusing time!"_

_"He will, don't you worry about that!"_

_***_

"What do you fancy doing? Do you wanna pop to the scrap yard to see Adam?"

Aaron scrunched his face "Scrap yard?"

"Remember? I told you about it yesterday, you and Adam started up a scrapping company, turned into a real business man!"

Aaron just shook his head in confusion, almost as if he was trying to shake his brain and see if any loose memories popped up.

"It's alright, don't worry, the doctors said it could take time... just remember that I'm here. It's lucky you're not the adventurous type, so you won't be missing much!" Chas laughed nervously.

Chas was cautious. She hated lying to her son, but it was for the best. They agreed. Chas, Paddy and Robert.

***

_"Look, I don't know what the hell you had with my son and I can see you're cut up about him.. but I'm sorry, I can't allow him to be around you. I can't allow him to remember you or the affair. We all know this is the root of his running and the accident, and I'm sorry, I can't allow him to remember that pain and suffering he went through. If he remembers himself then fine, we'll deal with it as it happens but as far as you and he are concerned you're strangers. You invested into his business and that is as far as it goes. I don't want you alone with him or even going near him unless myself or Paddy is present. Do you understand?!"_

_"Chas..."  
_

_"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ROBERT?! This isn't about you. This is about him. And he needs a clean break from this. He needs to never remember what he had with you. Get it?!"_

_"It seems I don't have a choice..."_

***

"I think I wanna go for a walk.. just, catch my surroundings."

"Sure I'll just grab my co-"

"No mum. I wanna go alone. I'll be fine. If I feel funny I'll be right back here. I promise."

Chas titled her head in concern. "Okay. But don't over do it, you're still not 100%!"

Aaron stumbled from the sofa and picked up his coat, before sloping from the back room into the brisk country air of the village.

 

"You alright Aaron!?"

Aaron peered round him

"Yeah thanks... David?"

"Yeah mate that's me, no one ever forgets me! How are you doing?!"

"It's strange... it's... confusing. But I'm doing alright."

"That's good to hear... everyone was really worried about you you know? Everyone's happy to see you back on your feet!"

"T-thanks... say hi to... Alicia is it? for me"

"It is Alicia! See, remembering stuff all the time, you'll be right as rain in no time!"

Aaron smiled faintly as David patted him on the shoulder, before continuing his walk through the village.

 

Aaron really wasn't sure what he was doing... it was almost like he was.. looking for something. Someone. Aaron felt like he'd forgotten someone really important to him. It felt like there was a hole in his chest that he didn't even know how to begin filling. He presumed it was just the feeling that came with amnesia but this was different...

He continued to walk around the village... pointing to each house and trying to recollect who lived where. As he did so he saw people smiling and waving at him, people he knew, people he didn't. He felt himself becoming dizzy a little, so he clutched his head with his eyes becoming hazy before falling slightly...

 

"Woah Aaron are you alright?!"

Aaron quickly regained his eyesight and got his balance, before looking at the face that looked before him.

The flappy soft blonde hair, the bluey-green eyes filled with concern and worry... Aaron felt a rush go through his body. He wasn't sure what it was.. he never felt it before.

"Umm, yeah I'm fine... urm... do I know you, sorry.. I don't.."

Robert's eyes began to quiver, before he ran his hand over his face wiping away the emotion from his face. "I'm Robert. I'm you're... business partner. Andy and Victoria's brother?"

"I'm sorry, I can't remember you.. were we friends?"

Robert hesitated. It took everything in him not to tell him. _I'm the guy you've been sleeping with for the last 4 months, I'm the guy who you told you loved and who told you he loved you back. The guy who you know, the guy who knows you and the only person on this fucking planet who knows and understand me._

"Kind of. Look, you look a little tired, we should get you back to the pub."

Aaron would of usually told him to push off, but something in Aaron just made him obey.

"Yeah, I think you're right, feeling a little dizzy still."

 

Aaron immediately placed his arm around Robert's neck and Robert held his arm probably a little tighter than he should of, supporting his frame.

"Thanks"

"No problem" Robert sighed silently, his eyes slightly watering.

 

The duo walked into the pub, in which Chas's eyes shot straight to the pair.

"What the hell are you doing with him?"

Aaron looked confused. "Bit rude mum?! I went a little dizzy and he helped me!"

Chas looked at Robert with pure hatred, which Aaron noticed and pierced his eyes at his mother.

"Come and sit down love, I'll get you some water and some crisps."

"I'm not a child mum!" Aaron snapped in a playful tone, making Robert chuckle.

"Think that's funny do you?" Aaron playfully remarked to Robert.

"A bit yeah".

The two just smiled at each other, before Chas barged past Robert pushing him back slightly.

"Thanks, you can go now."

Robert looked defeated and soon walked off

"Thanks... Robert"

Robert looked back at Aaron... he felt so much that he couldn't say. Robert had felt so alone the last few weeks... worried and concerned. And what killed him most is that he had to hide it all. There was no one he could turn to, no one he could talk to about it. Only ever Aaron.

"Bye Aaron"


	2. Chapter 2

"Watch It!" Robert shouted as his Americano spilled down his crisp white shirt. He wafted his shirt to stop the burning sensation now on his chest before turning.

"What the hell did I tell you!" Chas shouted, gaining the attention of Bob and Brenda in the otherwise empty café.

"I take it this is about yesterday-"

"Your damn right it is! I told you to keep away from him-"

"Hey! I am doing, but what was I supposed to do, watch him fall to the ground and possibly cause more damage? I helped him back to the pub. That's all."

"Yeah well make sure it stays that way. Don't go near him again, I mean it Robert. You know what I'll do."

Chas gave Robert a serious look which he reciprocated, before she stormed from the café, leaving Robert with a curious Brenda and confused Bob.

"What was that about?!" Brenda quipped.

"I don't really think it's any of your business to be fair Brenda? I'll have another Americano when you're ready please."

 

Robert just stood with his fists clenched on the café counter with his nostrils flaring. He understood why Chas was doing it.. he really did, but it didn't make it any better. No one understood his torture right now... but he didn't like to dwell on it. After all, whatever he was feeling, Aaron had gone through and was going through worse. This was better, not for Robert but for Aaron. And that's what Robert told himself. And that's what made his pain numb, at least a little.

 

**

 

 

Aaron sat perched on a bar stool staring into his orange juice - he was on a strictly no alcohol diet for the next few weeks - just wondering. He knew there was something about him, Robert. He hadn't a clue what, but he felt like there was a piece missing from the puzzle. Something just didn't seem to fit in the way he was. The way he looked.

"You alright mate?!"

Aaron rolled his eyes. He hated the attention he had gotten from this, especially when his last proper memories were back in France when no one took notice of him and no one asked him these mundane questions. Now, all he got all day was sympathetic looks and "how you doing", "are you alright?!" questions from people who never gave a shit about him before.

Aaron turned to find Adam, who sat close to his best mate.

"I'm fine, I wish people would stop asking me that though!"

Adam laughed. "We're just worried mate. You scared us, that's all, can't have you abandoning us now can we?!"

Aaron laughed faintly, before a question popped in his mind.

"Can I ask you something... Robert, are we friends?"

"Erm.. kinda, I suppose. You remember who he is right?!"

"Victoria and Andy's brother... Diane's step son... our business partner?"

"Yeah that's right, I'm not sure what you two are really, I don't think you were friends but I wouldn't say you two hated each other. Although you did beat him up, but don't tell anyone, only me, Victoria and Robert know about that!"

"I did what? Why?" Aaron's attitude became quite worried.

"He made a stupid mistake about some stolen car from Ross, could of got us into some real trouble, you got angry and for some reason ended up beating the shit out of him."

Aaron just looked down to his glass. _Did I really do that? Seems like a bit of an overreaction_

The two boys sat drinking their pints before Aaron took the glass from his lips.

"It was white!"

Adam shot his eyes to Aaron and Chas soon darted over after hearing him shout.

"You what mate?!"

"The car... that car that Ross brought, it was white wasn't it?"

Adam's face beamed "Yeah mate! It was! Anything else?!"

Aaron's happy expression soon sank.

"No..."

Chas and Adam looked at one another, before Chas placed her hand on her sons.

"It's okay... you remembered something, that's the main thing, it'll all start coming together eventually."

"I hate this. I hate being like this." tears began to fill his eyes.

"Oi, stop it man, you're doing your best, we're all hear for you!"

Aaron smiled faintly again before removing himself from the bar stool and began to walk into the back room, before another thought popped into his head.

_The barn?_


	3. Chapter 3

He shouldn't of gone but there was a real urge for him to do so. Aaron had marched through the back room and grabbed his jacket with one destination in mind. The barn.

He had no fucking idea why though. Aaron had thought that maybe he might of gone to the barn to be alone, to think, or something. The location popped into his head and for some reason, all his other thoughts were gone and the barn was the main focus. He had to go, it could trigger something... anything.

 

With a hopeful grin, Aaron soon made the journey to the barn, arriving in no time.

He looked around and scanned the area. Nothing. Nothing around, but also no triggers of memories.

He walked around the outside for a while, just pacing up and down trying to dig into his brain, but with little success. He then walked quickly over to the barn door, before opening it slowly and walking in, looking around and finding nothing but hay and..

 

"Robert?"

Robert's head shot up as he wiped away the tears from his eyes, completely dumbfounded at Aaron's appearance.

"Aaron?! What are you doing here?!"

Aaron scrunched his face while trying to identify Robert's strange emotions. "Dunno.. it just popped into my head, wanted to come and see if it would trigger anything, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, what? Do you remember something?!" Robert had spoken a bit too eagerly and walked fast paced towards Aaron, who was a little weirded out by his behaviour.

"Um.. no, seems not."

Robert's face dropped and he sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, by the way"

Roberts face shot back up again in confusion

"For what?"

"For beating you up. Adam told me I beat you up for something. Not sure why I'm apologizing as you probably deserved it, but for some reason I feel like I need to say sorry to you."

Robert's eyes began to quiver again, something Aaron had noticed had happened each time they encountered one another.

"I deserved it.. Look, I better go"

"No Robert don't!"

Both Aaron and Robert were taken aback by his outburst. Aaron was confused as to why he had to get the man to stay, and Robert was wondering if Aaron had remembered something.

"Woah, um, I don't know why I did that. Just got a bit of a weird feeling when you were gonna leave" Aaron laughed nervously.

Robert just nodded before turning his head away. Aaron then turned around and scanned the place once more.

As he walked to the door, Robert turned around again to look at his former lover. So innocent, there wasn't a look of pain or anger in him, but there wasn't any lust or happiness either. He momentarily stepped forward but froze. All he wanted to do was run up to Aaron, plant a firm passionate kiss on his lips and hope he remembered all... but he couldn't. He couldn't hurt Aaron any more. So he turned back around with tears running down his face before exiting the barn and storming off.

 

Aaron continued to look around the barn for a few minutes, before clutching at his head and falling to the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks. A huge surge of frustration had hit him and he couldn't take it. There was nothing worse than having memories trapped in his head that he knew were there but he couldn't release. A lingering pain of desolation. He knew he missed something. There was something he didn't have that was tearing him up inside.

 

After a few more minutes, Aaron wiped his face and stood up, before exiting the barn and once again making the journey back home. Upon arriving back at the pub, he had gotten a thousand questions from Chas but all he did was ignore her and walk past her into the back room, upstairs and into his bedroom, locking the door and sitting on his bed. He scanned the room like he did every room he stepped in nowadays, just hoping for some sort of trigger.

 

He laid back on his bed before he felt a thin piece of material underneath him. He moved forward and pulled at the strand of material from the side of the bed... it was a tie. A tie with a faint smell of cologne. Aaron placed the tie close to his nostrils scrunched in a ball and took a deep sniff. It felt so warm, it felt so relaxing. The smell, Aaron didn't know if it was his own cologne or not, but he just smiled. Aaron placed the tie on his pillow and then placed his head on top. He didn't feel too alone now. Something about this tie made him feel better, at least enough for him to fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron woke with a smile on his face. He buried his face into the pillow where the tie still laid, the place it had been for the last few days. He pulled himself back a little. What the hell was he doing?! This was just a tie with cologne. He knew it wasn't his... it looked too expensive to be his. And the cologne smelt too expensive for him too. He quickly got to his feet and checked through his toiletries... sniffing all his cologne's... nope, none are the same as the tie. It was annoying him now. More so than not knowing anything else at the moment. 

_Who the hell owns this tie and why is it in my room?!_

But strangely enough, Aaron didn't feel the need to ask him mum.. for some reason he felt like he shouldn't.

Aaron soon placed the tie under his pillow before getting dressed, and running down stairs. His ankle was feeling much better now.

"Hiya love, want some brekkie?"

"Nah you're alright mum, I think I'm gonna go into work."

Chas looked at her song worryingly. "You can't! You're not there yet! Just a few more days at least"

"Stop it mum" he said calmly. "I'll be fine. I just wanna go in and get familiar with the surroundings, I already texted Adam and he said he wasn't gonna allow me to do any physical labour, I'll just look over the books and that."

Chas hesitated in contemplation.

"Fine. But only half day! I want you back here to know you're okay!"

Aaron rolled his eyes at the childish request he got before putting on his jacket and darting from the house.

 

In his haste, he realized that he was in fact hungry as indicated by the ferocious growls his stomach was sounding. So he quickly abandoned his car and detoured to the café for something. Adam wouldn't be expecting him for another half an hour anyway. He had the time.

 

It'd been a few days now but Aaron was getting more comfortable around the place again. He had learnt most of the names he didn't know, had an awkward encounter with Finn where he remembered about sleeping with him and made a comment of how bad he was in bed much to the embarrassment of Finn. There was still a lot he didn't figure out though.  But he had begun to stop worrying about what he didn't remember and try and piece things together with the things he did.

 

"Can I just have a coffee and a bacon sandwich please Bob?"

"Sure mate, grab a table I'll bring it over."

Aaron jumped into the nearest seat and relaxed. The place was very quiet. Only Bob and Brenda were present. The near-silence was soothing to him, just the faint music in the background. Bob soon brought over his breakfast and he began to devour it when the silence was broken by a woman moaning.

"You said you'd be there for me yet all you seem to do is wander into your own thoughts, it's so rude"

Aaron turned to find Chrissie talking loudly while Robert trailed behind her. Aaron hadn't remembered Chrissie but he had been filled in about the stuff with her son, and for some reason, Aaron had already assumed he didn't like her. Something about the way she spoke and acted around everyone. He felt sorry for Robert, he always looked miserable with her.

"You alright?" Aaron asked as Robert passed him.

"Um, yeah fine. Thanks"

Aaron didn't understand the cold reply or the strange stare Robert had given him, not to mention the constant looking back at Aaron he did every two seconds when he finally reached the counter with his wife.

"I'll have a egg sandwich, bacon sandwich, a latte and... oh what's the coffee you have darling?"

"Americano"

Aaron and Robert's eyes shot to one another as they spoke the same word and Chrissie looked around in confusion.

"That's not good is it? I'm your wife and I couldn't remember but the business partner with amnesia does!" she laughed in embarrassment.

Robert stared at Aaron for a few seconds before turning back round... a huge smile on his face. Aaron was beginning to remember him. But then his face dropped...

If Aaron was beginning to remember the little things like Robert's choice of coffee.. how long would it be before he discovered the bigger things, the things that would rip him apart all over again?

No. Robert had to continue to keep his distance. More so in fact. He couldn't allow Aaron to remember those terrible things... no matter how much he wanted Aaron back in his life properly.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you alright darling? I've missed you!"

Robert was welcomed back to Home Farm with a warm embrace from Chrissie. He'd been away for just over a month on "business" but truthfully most of the time he spent watching films and binging on beer, trying to drink the pain away. It hadn't worked, but it helped. Just a little.

But he had to. There was too much temptation to talk to Aaron. He couldn't do it to either of him. He made a pact while he was away. He'd stay away from Aaron at all times. If Aaron walked into the café, he'd walk out. If Aaron had a drink by the bar, Robert would leave unless he was with Chrissie, in which he'd turn away from Aaron and focus on her. If they saw each other in the street, he'd cross the road. It was for the best.

"Could you do me a favour? Pop into the village and get us something for tea, I've been on my feet all day" Chrissie whimpered before pouting towards Robert.

He sighed. "Fine" before she handed him the keys and he trailed back to the village.

 

 

**

 

 

Robert sped into the village before parking up at the shop.

"Hiya"

Robert turned. Typical. When he wanted to see him, Aaron was never around, now, it felt like he was stalking him!

"Hi" Robert replied coldly before turning away into the shop, Aaron soon following. He tried not to scan him up and down but he did. He was looking a lot healthier. Colour back in his cheeks at least. His hair was natural and wiped to the side, and all Robert could think was that he looked _so_ fucking good.

"Not seen you around for a while"

It amazed Robert. Aaron was more friendly with Robert when he didn't know him than he'd ever been before. The amnesia must of taken the edge of his attitude. Plus, not both hating and loving Robert, that and the fact Robert couldn't bring himself to be his usual cocky self around him after the accident. He was back to acting like a different person around everyone.

"Been on business."

Aaron could tell Robert was acting cold towards him.

"Did I do something?"

Robert turned his head. "What?"

"Did I do something... to upset you?"

"N-no. Why?"

"You just seem to be a bit off with me that's all. Dunno if I did something, that's all."

"Well you didn't." Robert returned to filing through the cans. He wasn't going to buy any of them but he had to do something to distract himself from looking at Aaron.

"There's something about you... that I can't put my finger on."

Robert froze on the spot, not moving or turning. "Yeah?"

"Yeah.." Aaron stood in contemplation for a few seconds. "I seem to have remembered everyone else around here, every other detail.. yet you're the only blank space left."

Robert just shut his eyes tightly. "Can't be. There's nothing to remember. We're not friends. We're nothing to each other. So why don't you go bother someone else?!"

Ouch. Robert knew that was too harsh, but he needed Aaron to leave.

Aaron's face hardened and he stepped closer. "Who do you think you are?! I can see why I didn't like you now, you seem like a real arrogant prick."

Robert was about to say something back but he couldn't form the words, so he just pushed past Aaron.

But in that moment, as Robert's shoulder come into contact with Aaron's... Aaron smelt it. The cologne. It warmed his body yet sent a chill down his spine. Aaron turned as he watched Robert rush off into his car and sped away. Aaron stood thinking to himself. _But the tie couldn't be his... what would I be doing with his tie?_

Aaron came to the conclusion he must of just had the same cologne as whoever owns the tie, and walked back to the pub, feeling a mixture of anger, sadness and confusion.

 

**

 

Aaron had once again returned to the bar and ordered a pint, before his mum quickly corrected him and handed him an Orange juice.

He sat swirling his drink for most of the night, not taking a sip or anything, just sat staring into the swirling juice.

"Mum.. can I ask you something?"

"Course you can love! Anything, you know that."

Aaron looked at her for a few seconds.

"Robert Sugden. How well did I know him? Did we talk a lot? Is there anything significant about him to me at all?"

Chas's face went pale. "Why do you wanna know about him for? He's just your business partner. Has he been talking to you?!"

"No... I tried talking to him earlier but he got arsey and walked off. Feels like there is something I'm not being told."

Chas tried her best to keep a straight face, not show the worry behind her eyes. "Why do you say that?"

"Well whenever he's in the room you're shooting daggers at him or you tense up when he's mentioned. You didn't... you know..."

Chas struggled to understand what he was saying before the realization shocked her "AARON! Oh my god, no way. Wouldn't in a million years!" she shouted, with a disgusted look on her face.

Aaron just laughed "Sorry! Well I don't know do I?!"

"Look love, you've been doing so well... don't you think if it was anything important you'd of remembered by now? Just let it go."

Aaron sighed. "Fine"

 

**

 

Aaron had already gone in the back room a few hours ago and the pub was starting to get crowded as the Friday-night crowd filled through the doors. Chas rushed off her feet, but her attention soon focused as Robert walked into the room.

"Glass of white wine and a Pint please Chas when you're ready." he muttered.

Chas had a smug look on her face which Robert noticed, before she approached him.

"It's amazing innit? Aaron's been remembering stuff like clockwork recently, seems to remember everyone, yet you're the only person he doesn't remember still!"

Robert was already frustrated and angry by this conversation. "So?!"

"So... it must mean you didn't mean much to him at all really then? Didn't make a lasting impression! That must bruise your ego a bit!"

Robert was ready to fire back an insult but he just hadn't the energy or the motivation. He'd been thinking the same thing and to be honest, it did bruise his ego. How much could he have really meant to Aaron if Aaron hardly remembered anything about him or "them". So he just took the pint and wine glass Chas smacked down on the counter, throwing her some money. "Keep the change."


	6. Chapter 6

Aaron woke the next morning pretty much the same as the last few days. Each day remembering more and more, yet waking earlier and earlier, feeling worse and worse every morning. Aaron had wondered if the lingering smell on the tie, which faded each day could of been the cause. The smell, that warmed him up, made him relax and feel at ease was fading and so were those feelings. The comfort. He decided to do something about it... so he decided to talk to Robert again. He wore the same cologne as he was smelling, all he wanted was the name. He wasn't sure if it'd help... but something had to be done.

So Aaron went to work that morning, bright and early so he could get everything done. Adam had finally allowed Aaron to get back into the physical side of the business and it was doing him good. He had to take frequent breaks but it was making him feel better.

He soon finished the day at 5PM sharp and headed home. He was gonna go to Home Farm but thought it might be a little creepy for him to turn up and simply ask Robert 'what's your cologne cause I found this tie that smells like it and I can't get to sleep without it' like some sort of psycho stalker. He'd already tried to talk to Robert multiple times, yet Robert was standoffish and rude. Aaron didn't even like the guy yet it felt instinctive to try and talk to him every time he saw him for some odd reason. This wasn't like Aaron at all... usually he wouldn't give two shits, but this was different.

Luckily as he entered the pub he saw Robert sat in a booth alone, so Aaron ruffled his untidy hair into some sort of style. He didn't know why, but he did.

He had to be cool about this. He couldn't just go up to him and talk to him cause he'd tried that and Robert would just be cold towards him. He couldn't sit back and stare because he really would look like a creepy stalker. Then he thought about going and getting a shower first. Make him self look presentable. Aaron shook his head. What the hell was he doing? He was acting like he had a schoolboy crush on the guy or something. Like he was trying to make a move without looking to obvious yet not cryptic. Sure, Aaron found the guy attractive, but over the years Aaron had taught himself to try and not pay attention to straight men as there was no chance of ever getting with them so why admire them as if he could? But he needed to find out that cologne. Somehow.

 

So Aaron casually walked in Robert's direction, giving him a small stare before sitting on the bar stool directly opposite the booth, facing away from him.

"You alright love?"

Aaron soon realized his mum was stood before him, eyes wide.

"Yeah fine. I'll have a pint cheers"

Chas gave him a piercing look

"Don't look at me like that, I've finished the meds now, I can drink all I want!"

She just tutted before going off to get him a pint.

"Do you want one? Or you gonna tell me to bugger off again?"

Robert's eyes shot up, looking at Aaron who was looking back at him.

"I'm fine thanks." he replied coldly.

"Suit yourself, but you've been sat their staring at that empty glass since I walked in and it's starting to look a little weird."

Robert let out a small chuckle, before he looked at Chas who just nodded back at him.

"Fine, if you're buying."

Chas hesitantly handed Aaron the two beers before Aaron rose from the stool and perched himself at the opposite side of the booth Robert was sat in.

Aaron noticed him shuffling uncomfortably, continuing to look towards Chas, which Aaron noticed, but didn't mention.

Aaron handed him his pint with a small smile.

"Thanks" Robert replied, hand shaking slightly before freezing as his and Aaron's fingers touched, making him jolt back his hand, spilling his beer a little.

"Clumsy" Aaron laughed.

Robert smiled to himself. He couldn't deny, Aaron not knowing who he was hurt him a lot, but at the same time, Aaron was much more friendly now towards him. Towards everyone, as far as he was aware. He had heard Paddy talking about Aaron in the café the day before, talking about how he seemed much happier. Robert's stomach churned a little at the thought. It meant that really, Aaron was happier without him in his life, in his mind.

"Look, this is gonna sound really creepy."

Robert's thoughts were interrupted by Aaron who was now almost whispering to him.

"What's your cologne?"

Robert was slightly taken aback then looked in confusion. "Why?"

"Promise you won't laugh or find it weird alright?"

Robert leaned forward in curiosity.

"When I came back home, a few weeks back, I found a tie down the side of my bed. And, it smelt like your cologne... it's weird, it was kind of... comforting?" Aaron covered his face in embarrassment and his face was bright red.

"I'm sorry, it's weird isn't it!?" Aaron laughed, hands still clenching his face.

Robert meanwhile, had a look of shock, yet he felt so happy inside. Robert knew the tie was his. The day of Victoria's 21st party, after they'd made plans for Aaron to stay at Home Farm the next day, Robert sneaked into the back of of the pub and they had a quickie, purely out of impatience to be together. Robert must of left the tie. It was his favourite tie. He knew he'd lost it but with everything going on he forgot about it. But now he knew, it was with Aaron all along.

"Not weird. Sometimes people like to have things like that to remember people when they're away from each other."

Robert knew because he had something of Aaron's. He and Aaron had gone for a walk one night while at Home Farm and Robert couldn't be arsed to go get a coat from upstairs, so he grabbed one of Aaron's hoodies and put it on. It smelt of him, and he ended up falling to sleep in it, Aaron in his arms. Before Chrissie come home he found it and quickly hid it in his wardrobe, but he'd forgotten about that too.

"Thing is I haven't a clue who's tie it is!"

Robert's face dropped slightly at the fact Aaron STILL didn't remember him.

"I'm sure you'd know if it was important." Robert sighed.

"Yeah I guess so."

Robert quickly finished his pint before he stood up, Aaron's eyes following him as he rose.

"Thanks... for the pint."

"No problem."

Both Aaron and Robert reached for the glass and their hands touched again, but this time Robert didn't move his hand, he just looked at Aaron. Aaron did the same before he began to blush.

"S-sorry, I'll take it you get off" Aaron mumbled, before stumbling as he stood up. Aaron felt like a lovesick puppy. He fancied him. There was something about him that turned him on. But it was pointless thoughts, so he just took the glass and headed into the back room, giving Robert a quick glance as he did so, who was still stood watching Aaron as he left.

 

 

**

 

Aaron hadn't a great nights sleep after that. He'd gone to bed a few hours later but ended up laying where he was for a good hour or so. Not really thinking about anything, but soon drifted off.

 

It was pitch black in his room, but Aaron jolted up in a haste, breathing heavily, sweat dripping from his head.

"Katie!"


	7. Chapter 7

His eyes were darting erratically around the room, unable to focus or slow down. The fear had a hold on him like nothing else. It felt like his chest was about to cave in, his head implode. This wasn't like anything he'd experienced before. He knew it wasn't a dream - it was too vivid. Aaron had lived that moment. Seeing Katie's corpse laying there, still - Aaron could physically see the colour drain from her face.

 

Aaron jumped to his feet and erratically paced his room, pulling on clothing and shoes before quickly rushing down the stairs, unlocking the door and rushing out. His movements should have been so loud and harsh yet it was like he'd floated out of the house, no sound was made. He paced quickly into the road as he clutched his head, trying to fathom the memory he had just collected. He felt so sick, so alone, so desperate. There wasn't a worse feeling than it. And he didn't know what to do. But it seemed his body just went to its default setting. He ran.

 

He was running so fast, in any direction his feet would take him. Aaron was on auto-pilot, he couldn't stop himself. He had to run. And as he continued, every stride the memory lingered yet softened as the dull pain began to seep into his veins. On and on. Step by step. But the questions just wouldn't pass. Why did he see her body? Why was he there? Did he kill her? What was his reasoning if so? What could possibly warrant him to be in that situation?

 

As the sun began to rise faintly, Aaron had to stop himself as the pain had become too much to bare. His ankle was burning and his breaths had deepened. Despite all he was thinking, all he was wondering, and the feelings that he felt right now, something in him just drained him of all emotion. Aaron just walked in a steady pace back to the pub, at which point the sun had risen and he could now see the village covered in light. He entered back through the back door calmly, locking the door and stepping upstairs into his bedroom and closing and locking his bedroom door, laying on his bed and covering himself with the cover. He didn't remove clothing or even his shoes, he just closed his eyes.

 

 

"Aaron?! Aaron?! Come on, get up!"

Aaron was awoken by the shrill tones of his mothers voice, banging on his door with a slight hint of panic and worry. He rose to his feet and opened the door, looking at his mother like a deer in headlights.

"Love, what's wrong? You're white as a sheet!"

"N-nothing. Just f-felt a bit ill"

"You look terrible! You sure everything's fine?"

"Y-yeah, just gonna head to the yard. S-see ya later."

Aaron rushed past his mother and out of the door, ignoring the ache in his legs and the sharp pains in every pressured step.

 

His focus was on one thing. Getting to the yard. Although the thought of why his memory from last night, now ingrained back into his conscious memory, had suddenly lingered shocked him. Why wasn't he freaking out now? Why was he suddenly calm?! But whatever he was thinking or focusing on, Aaron could feel the dark cloud descending on him. His mood had soured quickly, and the miniscule feeling of happiness beside the wonder, curiosity and confusion he had been feeling had disappeared.

 

 

**

 

Aaron had arrived at the yard and immediately put himself into work, continuing to ignore the pain he was feeling both emotionally and physically. Adam was off work anyway so Aaron was able to get on without raising any suspicion that would probably end with some sort of interrogation from his concerned best friend. He was startled when he first looked at the clock - it was already 4 o'clock and Aaron had now been working 8 hours, yet it felt like nothing at all. It'd been the longest work day yet and he knew his mother would be worried - not like the 4 texts, voicemail and 3 missed calls weren't an indication either. So Aaron locked up the yard and headed back home once more.

 

Aaron walked back into the pub, head down and his face stern. For some reason he felt like it'd some how shield him from any interaction, but of course this wasn't the case.

"Thanks for answering my texts and calls!" Chas moaned sarcastically, trying to identify the suspicious behaviour of her son.

Aaron planned on ignoring her and walking into the back, if it wasn't for the next words he heard.

"You alright Aaron? Fancy a drink?"

Aaron peered up to see Andy sat at the bar, beer in hand and a faint smile on his face. Aaron just stared at him with his eyes wide. So much so he seemed to not notice the other man staring at him from besides Andy. Robert was full-gaze locked onto Aaron, noticing his expression with a deep pit of fear. He didn't need to be told, he could already guess why Aaron was looking that way.

"Aaron?" Andy faintly repeated with a slight chuckle, unnerved by the young man's gaze.

Aaron just walked past him quickly and rushed into the back, the eyes of Chas, Andy and Robert following him.

Andy looked to Chas for some sort of explanation, which she simply shook her head, she didn't know but she knew that Aaron wouldn't tell her - plus, it's not like she would ever expect it to be what it was. But Robert knew, he could feel it. Aaron's eyes were filled with pain, fear and horror. He'd of walked straight into the back if Chas wasn't here, but he felt hopeless as he had little options at the moment.

 

Aaron had sat shaking in the back room, terrified of any sort of interaction. The image of Katie flashing in his memory besides the faces of Andy and his mother, the two closest to Katie. The questions were filling through his head again, before he was startled by the sound of his phone.

 

"Aaron, it's Robert. Please come out back of pub now, think we need to talk. PLEASE."

Aaron couldn't quite register the text but as it seeped in he was of course at first confused. Why would Robert need to talk? And why was he practically begging? But for some reason, Aaron had already rose to his feet and reached the door before the questions even popped into his head.

Aaron rushed out the door to find the man standing before him, face filled with worry and concern. But it wasn't like the look Aaron had been getting from everyone else, this was genuine terror.

"Aaron... are you okay?"

Aaron just looked at him. Why did he want to know? Why was he here?!

"W-what did you wanna talk about"

Robert shuffled on the spot for a few seconds. He wondered about skirting around the question he so desperately needed an answer too, but worried of the implications it could have if he was wrong. But he wasn't wrong. So he just said the one word he knew would answer his question.

"Katie."

Aaron's eyes widened again as he looked at the other man in complete terror, his lips now trembling and his hands shaking ferociously.

Robert had his answer and he immediately sprung into action, darting towards Aaron and grabbing his arm, rushing towards his car.

"Get in."

Aaron looked at him with complete confusion.

"Not here, get in, PLEASE AARON!"

Aaron didn't understand the man's behaviour, how worried he was sounding, the look in his eyes. But Aaron just followed his instructions. It felt instinctive to do so.

Aaron and Robert both got into the car before Robert sped off, both of them sitting in complete silence. Robert didn't realize where he was going until he got there - the lay by where he and Aaron had shared their first kiss, but also, the place Robert had admitted all to Aaron about Katie... he felt a huge pit in his stomach - he now had to do it again.

Robert switched off the engine before facing Aaron and grabbing his hands.

"What did you remember?"

Aaron just looked at Robert, eyes now filled with tears.

"Aaron, tell me. You can tell me. Trust me. What did you remember?"

Part of Aaron wanted to close up and not say a word. After all, how could he ever tell his person he hardly remembered what appeared to be a huge dark secret? That he, could of potentially killed this man's sister-in-law, former lover, and it not end badly? But Aaron didn't. He just let the words fall from his tongue.

"Katie. I think... I think I killed her."

Robert gripped Aaron's hands tightly, his breaths now becoming erratic. Aaron could feel the man's hands shaking despite the grip.

Robert calmed himself and spoke to Aaron in an equally calm tone.

"You didn't kill Katie. What happened was a complete accident that no one could prevent."

"B-but I saw-"

"You saw her body yes, because you... you were helping me."

Aaron's eyes widened more - if it was even possible - at the words he was hearing.

"Me and her argued and she fell through the floor. I called you and you helped me. You got rid of any evidence that either of us was present."

Aaron had a million questions, so just let whichever seemed most important in the moment and blurted it out.

"You killed her?!"

"No!"

"But you said you arg-"

"We argued yes but I didn't kill her, she fell through the floor."

"But why would I help you?!"

"Because you had been there before. Me and you were at the barn when Katie came. You left and me and her argued, she fell and I called you in a panic to help me. It was my wedding day. It'd of looked malicious. Me and Katie hadn't been getting along. I'd of gone to prison, and so would you for being there. They would of thought we killed her, that we wanted her gone. But I didn't. We didn't. You helped me because you-"

Robert stopped himself. He was already doing so much damage by telling Aaron this, could he really open that can of worms? There was a faint chance in this moment he could possibly somehow explain this and get Aaron to believe him without spilling about the affair. He needed to stay away, he couldn't let Aaron remember those feelings. They couldn't be a "thing" any more. Aaron had some sort of a clean break from him up until now. Robert didn't want to disturb his life any more than he had done and was doing right now.

 

Aaron bundled out of the car rapidly - back in auto-pilot mode and beginning to run. But the pain from his ankle and now his head was searing through his body and he collapsed to the floor in agony. Robert was already hot on his heels and rushed to Aaron's side, cradling his head.

"Aaron?! Are you okay?! Speak to me?! Aaron?!"

Aaron just looked into the mans eyes, covered in tears staring intently back at him. But this time Aaron looked past the fear, the concern, the worry. He just saw what he had been missing - he saw Robert again. Not the man he had forgotten, the man he had spent weeks trying to remember. Robert. His Robert.

 

Aaron cried out in agony as the pain was becoming too much and the memories began to wake up in his brain. His screams could probably be heard for miles. But it wasn't long until the pain overcame him, and he faded into darkness.

 

**

 

"Aaron?! Aaron?! Please wake up?!"

Aaron began to stir as he heard a faint muffled voice speaking to him. He opened his eyes only partially with his vision blurry and hazed, unable to see or compute where he was or what was happening.

"Aaron?! I won't lose you again, come on!"

Aaron turned his head to see Robert, crying uncontrollably, seemingly driving but constantly turning his head to Aaron every second.

"Please.. you can't leave me."

The pain in his voice only made Aaron cry himself. He couldn't stand to see him this way. The man he'd not seen for months now. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. The guy he saw since the accident was nothing but another man in the village, no real prominence other than the lingering feelings began to feel with each encounter.

The car came to a harsh stop as Robert leaped from his seat out of the car, across the front and to the passenger door. He quickly unhooked Aaron's seatbelt before cupping him into his arms, all the while screaming for help. Aaron was lifted out of the car by Robert who then ran rapidly through the hospital doors, still crying and looking back at Aaron every second.

 

A doctor approached Robert. "What's happened?!"

"He, he collapsed, I think he's in a lot of pain. He had amnesia, I-I think he remembered things. Please just help him.

A group of people ran towards Aaron and Robert and took Aaron from Robert's arms and placed him on the bed, Robert struggling to let go as the fear of losing the man for good was all but too clear to him.

Robert placed his hands on his head as the tears continued to fall, before a nurse came and showed him to a side room.

 

Now, he waited.


	8. Chapter 8

This was the second time in too short a time frame that Robert was sat in the hospital waiting room, hoping, praying that Aaron would be alright. All the feelings from the first time, the deep pit of darkness in his stomach, the frantic worrying and the uncontrollable shaking. Robert sat alone with his head in his hands waiting for something... anything.

 

"WHERE IS HE?!"

Robert's face darted up which sent the tears on his face flying, finding an obviously worried Chas and Paddy.

"I-I don't know.. he's.. he's through-"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Robert just scoffed. Her son was potentially in a life-threatening condition and all she wanted to really know is what had Robert done to him to cause it, like he was some monster that was trying to destroy Aaron.

"I didn't do anything! He remembered something and started running before collapsing, I got to him and rushed him here! For god sake Chas, don't you realize just how much Aaron means to me by now!?"

 

Chas just scrunched her face at him before sitting across the room from him, hand against her mouth thinking. Paddy however was unable to sit down, pacing across the floor, all waiting in silence again.

 

"Mr Sugde- Oh, Mrs Dingle, you're here. He's fine, he's awake and stable, you can go see him, he-"

"You stay here, me and Paddy will go." Chas snapped at Robert already at the door."

"Actually Mrs. Dingle he was asking for Robert."

The doctor seemed to remember Robert. He actually comforted him when Chas threw him out the last time - Robert found it strange how a complete stranger could understand how he felt for Aaron from just looking at him while Chas and Paddy seemed to be in complete denial of the fact.

Chas stood with her mouth open, obviously seething, before she turned away and sat back down. Robert passed Paddy with a concerned smile before following the doctor to Aaron's room.

 

 

**

 

 

Robert slowly crept through the door when his face lit up to see an awake Aaron. But he felt a horrible sense of worry in his gut - he didn't know what Aaron remembered or didn't remember at this moment in time.

"Feels like Deja Vu.. apart from your obviously awake this time" Robert laughed nervously.

"Robert..."

Aaron just gave Robert a warm smile, warming Robert up.

"I remember."

"What? What do you remember?"

"Everything. Well, nearly everything... but I remember everything to do with us now, or at least I think I do.. it-it's still a little confusing"

Robert just smiled again before slipping into the seat next to the bed, grabbing Aaron's hand and kissing it harshly.

"So you remember everything? The week at Home Farm? The fight? Katie?"

Aaron just sighed. "Yeah"

"I-I'm sorry"

"What for?"

"I didn't want you to remember all that - I'd rather you not remember me at all than remember all that again..."

"Well that's not your choice. It's not mine either, and I'm glad I remember."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's strange - it's like a relief that I remember it all now. It was too hard not knowing things, not knowing the truth, having things hidden from me and everything. I'd rather remember everything, including the bad stuff than be like that again."

 

The two sat in silence for a few moments.

 

"I thought I'd lost you, you know. Again"

Aaron just looked up at Robert's eyes, filled with pain.

"You not remembering me at all... it just makes me wonder if... it didn't really mean as much as I thought it did... to you.. that I didn't?"

"The doctor said you can't control what you remember or not. It's not the most important or the biggest memories that fly out first. Of course you mean a lot to me, I love you, like more than I have anyone."

Robert just placed his head in Aaron's hand.

"You're not leaving me again, that's for sure."

"I don't plan to."

"And no more running okay?"

"Fine."

"I'm serious. You're not putting us through this again."

" 'Us' is it?" Aaron laughed.

"It will be. I'll make it happen. I promise."

"You don't have to-"

"I'm saying it because I mean it. I've had a taste of you not in my life too much recently, it's not happening again."

The two boys smiled at each other, before Robert raised from his seat and kissed Aaron's forehead for a few seconds, in which time Paddy and Chas had entered the room.

 

Robert took his lips from Aaron and turned at their presence.

"I know what you think of me, and I know you don't think I'm worth it, but I AM going to be with Aaron, whether you like it or not. I love him and I'm not letting him go again. It's gonna be a tough journey - he's gonna need both of you, not just me. But it'll be worth it. I promise."


End file.
